Predictions
In the future:
1. A person will digitally sign 5,000 pages of contract every morning at breakfast.
2. Breaths will be taxed and insured.
3. Sex will be a competitive sport.
4. Sexual activity and hours spent television watching will be tied to your credit rating.
5. Corporations will build private cities.
6. Children will be taxable assets.
7. Every inch of the planet will be watchable via camera satellites.
8. Video cameras will nestle in and try to sleep in your bed.
9. People will be assigned a group of 'diverse' friends: one gay, one bi, one black, one from somewhere in the middle east, one superstitious, one aethiest, one christian, one racist, one skinny, one ugly, one bored, one fat. There will be obligatory monthly meetings at the government re-education center or the local high school gymnasium.
10. People will have barcodes on their tongues. You will have to stick out your tongue to buy groceries, a muffin, a stapler, whatever.
11. Automatic weapons will be legal only in inner cities and impoverished areas, on the argument that it is dangerous to live there, and violence is more likely.
12. Sterilization of females born in major cities where heavy ground level ozone concentrations - sulfur oxides, etc. - make fertitility a 'risk'.
13. Eunuchism will re-emerge as a popular new mystic religion.
14. People will have pet rats on leashes.
15. India and Pakistan will join with Iran and N. Korea to form what they will call the 'Axis of Evil', and bend their collective wills towards destroying all living things. Or nuclear war will break out over the Kashmir.
16. The United States will legalize torture in cases where the probable criminal probably knows something about something atrocious that happened or may happen in the future - under these circumstances, and these only, is such extremity justified out of concern for the rest of humanity. They will push for the ratification of the same legislation at the U.N.
17. Marriage will be illegal if you have cancer or any life-threatening disease.
18. Abortion will become a matter of state legislation - it will be outlawed in all states except for New York, Massachusetts, and (a new state in the future) Southern California.
19. Public health officials will come arrive at your door one day to evaluate your house and leave a little card taped onto the front window reading 'B'. You will notice that the house across the street has a small 'A'.
20. I will move to Switzerland and live in total seclusion, except for the wife and kids, where we will eventually die of exposure to nuclear winds.
1. A person will digitally sign 5,000 pages of contract every morning at breakfast.
2. Breaths will be taxed and insured.
3. Sex will be a competitive sport.
4. Sexual activity and hours spent television watching will be tied to your credit rating.
5. Corporations will build private cities.
6. Children will be taxable assets.
7. Every inch of the planet will be watchable via camera satellites.
8. Video cameras will nestle in and try to sleep in your bed.
9. People will be assigned a group of 'diverse' friends: one gay, one bi, one black, one from somewhere in the middle east, one superstitious, one aethiest, one christian, one racist, one skinny, one ugly, one bored, one fat. There will be obligatory monthly meetings at the government re-education center or the local high school gymnasium.
10. People will have barcodes on their tongues. You will have to stick out your tongue to buy groceries, a muffin, a stapler, whatever.
11. Automatic weapons will be legal only in inner cities and impoverished areas, on the argument that it is dangerous to live there, and violence is more likely.
12. Sterilization of females born in major cities where heavy ground level ozone concentrations - sulfur oxides, etc. - make fertitility a 'risk'.
13. Eunuchism will re-emerge as a popular new mystic religion.
14. People will have pet rats on leashes.
15. India and Pakistan will join with Iran and N. Korea to form what they will call the 'Axis of Evil', and bend their collective wills towards destroying all living things. Or nuclear war will break out over the Kashmir.
16. The United States will legalize torture in cases where the probable criminal probably knows something about something atrocious that happened or may happen in the future - under these circumstances, and these only, is such extremity justified out of concern for the rest of humanity. They will push for the ratification of the same legislation at the U.N.
17. Marriage will be illegal if you have cancer or any life-threatening disease.
18. Abortion will become a matter of state legislation - it will be outlawed in all states except for New York, Massachusetts, and (a new state in the future) Southern California.
19. Public health officials will come arrive at your door one day to evaluate your house and leave a little card taped onto the front window reading 'B'. You will notice that the house across the street has a small 'A'.
20. I will move to Switzerland and live in total seclusion, except for the wife and kids, where we will eventually die of exposure to nuclear winds.
posted by bnjmn at
1:34 PM
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